Northern Reflections on Health

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Listening – a connection to good health?

July 17, 2015 By Wendy Margolese 4 Comments

Listening and being listened to - important to health.
Listening and being listened to – dynamics in health.

The reason we have two ears and one mouth, it’s said, is because we should spend twice as much time listening as talking!

But with the growing convenience of technologies that demand or divert our attention, it often feels harder to take the time to really listen and create and sustain important relationships – whether it is doctor-patient, employer-employee, parent-child, or husband-wife.

Yet connection matters. Relationship matters. Love matters. These are all dynamics that stem from listening and being listened to. Increasingly, the medical community is paying attention to the role listening can play in how to care for a patient.

What is it about truly listening to another person’s story – pain, sadness, joys and fears – that results in being better able to help someone find health?

In one way, it seems so obvious. If a person does not feel listened to, how can he feel cared for and important enough to be worth a health professional’s time and attention?

Some are pointing out that the current medical system, in the economy of time constraints, has shifted from the art of listening to the patient – the soft data – to craving the hard data that technology offers.

Dr. Ted Kaptchuk, Director at Harvard Medical School cautions ‘The pill has become known as the treatment, and the relationship – the respectful, careful listening – has become everything else.’ Wise doctors and nurses, he avers, have found their ‘everything else’ – respect, attention, comfort, empathy, touch – often does the lion’s share of medical care.

We all want to feel that, when we need answers to health problems, we will be listened to and can trust that our needs will be met. This may account for the rise of visits to alternative care sites — massage, acupuncture or chiropractic, for example — where patient surveys indicate the provider is willing, even eager, to listen to the patient.

If, in our pursuit of health and well-being, we haven’t found that connection, that trust, there is another source we can turn to that isn’t dependent on the vagaries of human personalities, jam-packed appointment calendars or the economics of the health industry.

And to find it, we have to be prepared to sharpen our own listening skills.

The Psalmist states: ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ That’s wise counsel on how to become a better listener!

It can also have a healing effect on the body, as evidenced in a published account of a man who found he was losing his Businesspeople working on computerhearing. Bob turned to the Bible and looked up references to hear/hearing. As he sought more spiritual understanding, he realized he needed to be attentive to listening to God.

It also became clear to him that he was doing all the talking and not enough listening, especially in his dealings with his co-workers. Bob made an effort to put aside voicing his own point of view and more humbly let personal opinion dissolve by listening for ideas from the divine source of intelligence. At work he also started to listen to other people’s ideas without judgement. Gradually his hearing returned to normal. He felt this was a result of his day-to-day trust in this divine intelligence and ongoing commitment to listen better.

The prophet Isaiah explained the art of Divine listening perfectly with this promise: ‘And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee saying, this is the way, walk ye in it’. (Isa 30:21.

Each one of us naturally wants to know that someone is listening, that we can trust a listening ear to hear and respond to our health concerns/needs. Infinite Mind [God] knows our needs, so we don’t need to do much talking; listening is the connection.

As a community blogger for Metroland news editions throughout Ontario, you can read my articles on Simcoe County News.

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Filed Under: Health and Well-Being Tagged With: God, hearing, listening, Mind, relationships, Ted Kaptchuk

Comments

  1. Sharon Leman says

    July 17, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    When I think about listening to someone else, I remember this definition of “witnessing” that was given in a Life coaching textbook I studied. It says: “Witnessing means being authentically present with another. This skill creates the space for the other to fully express themselves. When one witnesses another’s expression, the other feels seen and known at a very deep level. And, I can see and feel that when I’m quiet and listen to God, I am both witnessing and being witnessed on this deeply profound level.

    Thanks Wendy. Great article!

    Reply
    • Wendy Margolese says

      July 20, 2015 at 6:34 pm

      I love this idea of witnessing and being witnessed!! So often the word ‘witness’ was used by the apostles, especially Paul.
      The depth of meaning of words…I love it! Thank you! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Joy Hinman says

    July 17, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    Thanks for this blog Wendy! What a good reminder to LISTEN better.
    It is too easy to be the one with lots to say — and sometimes that rides roughly over what someone else is trying to say, or needs to say, if given an opportunity.

    Reply
    • Wendy Margolese says

      July 20, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      Thank you, Joy. Your comments are always much appreciated. 🙂

      Reply

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Wendy Margolese

Wendy_Margolese

I was born and raised in a small Northern Ontario mining town. You can never take the warmth of the North out of a girl’s heart. So, I would like to take this opportunity to share heartfelt thoughts with you about a topic important to each of us – our health and well-being. Visit my About page to learn more.

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